Racism: Germany vs. America

To date, I’ve lived in Germany for 4.5 years; January 12, 2022 marks my 5 year anniversary here.

During my 4.5 years in Germany, I have not experienced a lick of racism, and I am confident that going further, I also will not.

Quick background on me: I am a Sudanese-American that was raised in American until I was 23. Despite the fact that both of my parents are Sudanese, I couldn’t feel less identified with the nationality. I identify more with my American nationality. (I can get into why in a future post.) One week before my 24th birthday I moved to Berlin, Germany.

I grew up watching my mother get miss-treated by white-Americans everyday. She was often belittled in front of us (her kids), because of her accent and because of people assuming the absolute worse of her. To be honest, instead of empathizing with her, I grew ashamed of being black myself. I was made fun of in school because of my dark skin, African roots and natural hair – basically everything that identified me with being black. So… I decided to take things into my own hands and I bleached my skin. You see America has this fucked up notion of treating black people differently based on the beautiful shade of their blackness; the darker you are, the worse you get treated. For example some of my family members have darker skin then I do and thus got and still get treated worse than I do in America. I figured if I couldn’t be white, I could at least lighten my skin and get treated somewhat better. Bleaching my skin worked. My skin turned lighter. Bleaching my skin also had side-effects. The chemicals in the bleaching products gave me horrendous acne and severe mental health issues. But somehow it was still worth it. In my mind it was better to have lighter skin and get treated better, than to have darker skin and suffer through the daily ridicule and racism I experienced.

Fuck America.

Fast forward a couple of years.

In between getting my hair done I decided to rock my afro in Berlin. Now mind you, I would never in my right mind wear my natural hair out in Minnesota. That is just a recipe for disaster. In Minnesota a black girl wearing her natural hair is categorized as the following: unintelligent, probably a single mother, poor, ratchet, foreign, unsuccessful, lazy, etc. So… you can imagine my fear of wearing my afro to work in Berlin. I was scared but I thought at least I won’t get hit on by men because I assumed my afro would be categorized as ugly just like it would in Minnesota.

Boy was I wrong.

I stopped at the grocery store to get some snacks for work.

My heart was pounding. My hands were sweating as I walked into Netto.

I looked around and noticed that no one was looking at me. I grabbed my items and headed to the check-out; once again no one is looking at me. I bought my items and walked out of the grocery store.

Let me explain why this experience was so life-changing for me. Up until that day I had never worn my natural hair out in public because I was worried about the racism and discrimination I would face. But the exact opposite happened in Berlin. No one paid attention to me, or even gave a fuck about my hair. It was the best I had ever felt about being invisible. Next up, work. I worked with 98% white people, so I was preparing myself for the ‘can I touch your hair?’ and the ‘why does your hair look like that.’ questions. Nada. My co-workers loved my hair and said I shouldn’t hide it behind my usual extentions. They expressed their jealously of my curls, which made me feel so normal.

I once expressed my fear of getting darker in Summer to my partner and he was so bamboozled and confused. He couldn’t understand why having darker skin would be something I was afraid of. ‘White people always get darker in the summer and everyone loves that.’ Aw, his sweet, innocent, naive little outlook on life. After I explained why to him he thought it was complete foolishness and said he never thought like that.

In my experience in Germany one doesn’t need to be ‘woke’ about colorism or racism because the problem is not as ingrained and deeply-rooted in German society as it is in American society. Now don’t get me wrong, of course there is racism in Germany the country is not perfect. I am just saying the deep hatred and fear for black people in America is something AMERICANS created. The rest of the world does not have the same level of institutionalized racism as America. And thus I personally, do not experience racism in Germany. Other people may yes, of course; but I personally have not. And for that I am extremely grateful. Mind you I am not a close-minded, naive, Germany lover. Yes, I do love Germany and find almost everything here better than America, but I am aware of the problems this country has. But after nearly 5 years living here compared to my whole life in America, I can without a doubt say that I feel more respected, comfortable, and safe being a black woman in Germany than I ever did in America.

In the Winter of 2020, shortly before the ‘Rona hit my older sister visited me in Berlin. During the day I had to work and she explored the city by herself. I really wanted to get another black-American’s perspective on racism in Germany compared to racism in America, so I asked how what she thought about the topic and what she had so far experienced. My sister has more of an unbiased opinion than I do because she doesn’t live in Germany and isn’t really interested in Germany either. Shawty just came to turn uppppp. But her analysis was exactly like mine! She said and I quote: ‘no one followed me around the stores.’ Black people are always followed around stores in America because of the fear that we will steal.

I feel like a human in Germany. I feel like I am seen for who I really am, not just the color of my skin. I feel safe in Germany. I feel confident in my skin. I feel respected. I feel loved. All of the years of hating myself and the color of my skin, have slowly started to melt away; and for that, I will forever be grateful.

Regardless of race, height, sexual orientation, nationality, etc, we should all be treated like mf humans! The pain, suffering, and mental torture racism has inflicted on my family, friends, and myself is outright inhumane. We don’t choose the skin we’re born in, the type of human we are attracted to, our anything about our outward appearance (of course there are exceptions like weight), so why are these things we judge one another about.

Love one another. Love yourself. Focus on people’s character instead of their appearance and watch the mf world transform.

This is me; black as hell and proud

-I can also further elaborate on my experiences of being black in Germany if anyone is interested. 🙂 These are of course not the only reasons why I find life in Germany as a black woman better than America.